The TBC Crew

Now, let's hope they don't notice I've taken over this little page of theirs...  Greetings, dear reader.  Cassandra Thickquill here, risking life and limb - and Transfiguration - once again, to bring you the inside scoop on this little den of iniquity known as 'The Basilisk Cafe'.  More particularly, the ringleaders of that sordid little den of debauchery, the self-styled 'TBC Crew'.  These criminals might well be the biggest threat to Wizarding society since the Dark Lord first arose, and I swear, on my honour as a reporter, to bring you the truth about their activities, complete and untarnished.  Without further ado, I give you six of the most base, despicable rogues on the face of the Wizarding World...

Bragg

I can't quite pin down exactly what it is that this person is meant to do around here...  He wears an announcer's headset, and walks around saying things like 'we need more content' and 'those uniforms are far too long', but as for any specific function he might be intended to serve, I can find none.  Certainly, he is not employed for his artistic abilities, of which there is a distinct lack.  He is known to everyone who visits the Cafe, and uses this notoriety to good effect, cultivating a network of acquaintances and influences that I suspect extend much further than anyone could ever hope to detect.  I find that the fact that he would name his female basilisk 'Bob' only deepens my sense of anxiety, as does the existence of the 'Braggeth' cult among the Cafe's membership.  However, I feel that one thing is certain about this man - he is not to be trusted.

Mindy

Mindy clings to some dubious claim to royalty, going by the moniker of 'PrincessSweetOne', although it is not clear exactly which domain she claims to be a princess of.  Her first job appears to be finding excuses for the Cafe to hold wild and drunken parties, as part of her role as the Cafe's Lounge Lizard.  Such excuses seem to range from 'Its Monday' to 'Its Sunday', with not a stone left unturned inbetween.  The most common staging ground for this debauchery is the elusive 'Secret Chamber', to which I have been unable to gain access, but I feel that my inexperience with this particular room may, in fact, be something to be grateful for.  She is ably assisted in her task by Star's personal cadre of GTDE Barmaids, and her own two Basilisks, Bert and Alanna, who serve as impromptu bouncers for these parties, ensuring that the festivities proceed only as they are intended.

Phishie

The most senior member of the TBC Crew, and also the member in charge of security in the Cafe.  To that end, she is rarely seen without her large and unpleasant-looking whip, which she claims is only intended for 'motivational purposes'.  No, dear reader, I don't believe a word of it either.  Her disturbing fondness for dragonhide corsets should also be a concern.  Her personal motto - 'Brains over Brawn' - might seem to be a perfectly reasonable one, but it no doubt hides some deeper, darker meaning that we upright members of society could scarcely guess at.  Tituba and Dexter are the names of her two Hit Basilisks, two lethal killers despite a habit of not eating their victims.  Unfortunately, in her role as the Cafe's bouncer, she has been able to prevent the Ministry from finding any of her victims, so this dangerous and clever killer is still at large.

Rose

An artist, or so she claims.  Her drawings certainly suggest that.  But she is also something of an escape artist, or so it would seem - the Ministry are unable to track her whereabouts, and even her fellow Cafe members seem to find it difficult to keep a hold of her.  Despite all this, she has a position of some importance, even in the Crew itself - she is the Official GTDE Bartender, and with such a group of undoubted party animals, this must surely be a position that requires a considerable amount of trust.  She is also famed as the star of her own reality Mugglevision show, 'Rose-O-Vision', and even spreads her influence as far as the high seas - a pirate ship known as the S.S. Rosewood is known to the Ministry, though it, like it's Captain, continues to elude all efforts at capture.  Her marriage to the always-suspect Severus Snape only serves to increase suspicions about Rose's own hidden agenda.

Sapphire

This is the first one you have to watch out for.  Whispers are that she knows over a hundred different 'skinning' techniques, and aims to use them all in an effort to make her 'Cafe' look more attractive.  Quite how that could be, I dread to imagine.  She has also been known to frequent something called the 'Secret Chamber' on a regular basis, and is the reputed owner of the 'Snogging Room of Requirement'.  No doubt some top-secret staging ground for certain unspeakable acts.  There have been many different sightings of her all over the GTDE Mansion, doing who-knows-what with Demetri, her personal Basilisk.  Her knowledge of the Mansions' secret passages and rooms means you can never be too sure of where you are stepping, and her technical skills are without compare.  If only she would use her powers for good...

Star

A beautiful young Veela, with a reputation - and talent - for turning eligible men into a goo-like substance with her flirty powers.  She uses these talents as the GTDE Barmaid, and is responsible for much of the questionable reputation of those who have followed such a career path.  There are also reports that she is the mother of two young children, Star Jr and Presto Jr.  Apparently, the plan for World Domination includes space for a next generation of evildoers, and already she is off to a good start in swelling their ranks in readiness for this new dynasty.  Star also owns two Basilisks, Chester and Elsa, both of which are highly trained in the arts of death and destruction, and is well-known for her artistic talents, which she uses to create a variety of images of her beloved 'Tom', many of which have been confiscated by the Ministry for excessive lewdness.