The Basilisk Cafe

Supplicants: Batch 10

Letter #28 - 3rd July, 2008
Dearest Tom,

I don't mind you using my computer, however the blatant use of white-out (especially on the screen) is starting to irritate me. If this continues, I will be forced to take action. 

And you know what I mean.

Your devoted 'servant',
-Sapphire Ashleigh
The hostess with the mostest! XD

P.S. Asexual, my foot.
P.P.S. Lose the glamour, the 80 year old thing only works for Hef. *smooches*

Opera Ghosts, White-Out, Hef, what on earth are you Muggles talking about?  Did that imperious pillock Lockhart cast one of his memory-modifying charms on you all?  Your accusations of using a glamour are entirely unfounded, by the way.  Total power and eternal life are attractive enough traits, without the need for artificial enhancement of my looks.  Besides, most 'glamour' spells are about as effective as asking Draco to do something important.  Trust me - I've seen Crabbe's efforts at making himself look presentable.

Lord Voldemort

PS. You are threatening me?  That is funny.


Letter #29 - 24th July, 2008
Do Not consolidate your debt Eliminate it!

Legally ELIMINATE your credit card and other unsecured debt

* WITHOUT ever making another payment to your creditors
* WITHOUT it affecting your credit long-term
* WITHOUT confrontation

This IS NOT:

* Bankruptcy
* Consolidation
* Or refinancing of any kind

Visit here to learn how

* Must have a minimum of $10K in combined household unsecured debt to apply.
* Must be a US resident.

Do not respond to pointless advertising emails - eliminate the senders!

Eliminate pointless, time-wasting emails from your InnBox, by casting one simple, easy-to-remember charm - 

* WITHOUT any risk of their ever, ever bothering you again (Even if they do return as ghosts, they may find their typing skills impaired.)
* WITHOUT suffering any legal entanglements (Since sending this gibberish to my address clearly qualifies as 'suicide-by-stupidity'.)
* WITHOUT confrontation (Or at least, any worth breaking stride for.)

Sending this pointless, time-wasting piece of flotsam IS NOT: 

* A worthwhile use of anybody's time and resources
* Likely to achieve anything whatsoever
* Conducive to your long-term health

I will be visiting the senders of this email soon to demonstrate why.

* You must have a minimum of 1 brain cell to be permitted to email this address.
* You must not be trying to sell me anything. 

Lord Voldemort

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Last Updated: 24 July 2008

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